HikariMine
by Naive Goth
Summary: Yami is dating Ryou, which pisses off Bakura who loves Ryou, so Bakura dates Yugi and, oh, snap. Just read it. It's funny, I swear.
1. Chapter 1

**Hikari-Mine, Chapter One:**

What kind of fucking idiot orders SUSHI at an american resturant?

The pharaoh, that's who.

Ra, I hate that... that... that THING.

Many people assume I do, just by the cold glares, the threatening looks, the times I trip his Hikari and the little brat falls flat on his face and gets a broken nose. Especially the Twenty-eight encounting times I've tried to murder him. Those make it REALLY obvious.

But not JUST because his Ra-damned father slaughtered my entire village to make some stupid little trinkets that would allow me, the great Bakura, to take over the world. No, I hate him RIGHT THIS MOMENT because he is TICKLING my Hikari. And worse yet, my Hikari is making THE CUTEST NOISES! It's enough to make me wanna scream. In fact, I think I will.

"STOP IT!" I scream. The pharaoh stops, Oh yeah, go Bakura, and looks at me. Hikari blinks innocently. "This is a public resturant," I growl, glancing about at the people staring at us. "BEHAVE."

"Since when are YOU the king of good behavior, tomb robber?" he spits bitterly, straightening up. My Hikari fixes his hair and looks around sheepishly, blushing. Awww, how cute...

"Sorry Yami," he says softly. I smirk and lean back in my chair. Stupid pharaoh, interrupting a romantic dinner with my Hikari. Not that my Hikari KNEW, but still...

I don't say anything now though, because if I did, it would be incriminating. And Ra only knows how bad it would be if my Hikari knew how much I... uh... cared for him. Yes, that is the correct word. The word of correctNEEEESSSS---

...DAMMIT!

Ow. Now the stupid pharaoh is laughing, because I fell over backwards in my chair. Dammit! "I meant to do that!" I say coarsely, jumping up and straightening my chair. Oh. No. No way. He wouldn't. He didn't. My Hikari, my poor, innocent, lovable Hikari, is giggling. He's giggling, at ME.

"We're going home!" I yell, grabbing Hikari's hand. Hikari immediatly stops giggling and pouts.. Awww, the pout!

"Why Yami?" he asks in his quiet, meek voice. Yami stands up. Oh, my Ra. I just used his actual 'name'. DAMMIT!

"You can't just drag my boyfriend away from me because you're jealous!" the pharaoh says defensively, grabbing Hikari's other hand. Ra, he TOUCHED him. Oooo, that Thing will die...

"It's getting late, and Hikari has homework," I growl. I have no idea if he does or not, but still. It's a good excuse! Hikari always uses it to get off the phone with the brat, anyway. Even when he doesn't. He he, I'm rubbing off on him. ...Eek! No! Keep Hikari innocent and cute! Not bad like Bakura the Great! Oh yeah, who's bad? Ahem, anyway...

Hikari slips his hand out of the pharaoh's grip and sighs. "I'm sorry Yami-kun, but 'Kura's right. I have a HUGE project due tomorrow and I've hardly even started," he says, stepping next to me. Oh yeah! Bakura two, pharaoh ZERO!

Yami Just pouts. Aww, stupid pharaoh. "Bye," I growl, and drag Hikari from the restaurant. There has GOT to be a way for me to torture the pharaoh like he tortures me. There has GOT to be... Hmmmm... Hey! I got it! The great Bakura has got it! Heheheh, this is the most ingenious torture plan ever, if I do say so myself. Now, how shall I implement it? Hm...


	2. Chapter 2

**Hikari-Mine**

**Chapter Two**

**"May I please speak with Yugi?" I can't believe those words came from my mouth. Ra, strike me down now before I go through with this. The grungy old man gives me an odd look.**

**"Excuse me? Bakura?" he says suspiciously. Oh... don't let him catch on... I nod. "Just a moment. YUGI!" he yells up the stairs. Then he gives me a strange look. Oh, he totally knows I'm faking. I smile nervously.**

**...Ra, tell me I did not just smile. Aw, damn.**

**Okay, this is getting weird. Ah. Here's the brat."Come on Yugi-chan," I say sweetly. Oh, I love my acting skills. He blinks, highly confused, as I grab his arm and drag him outside.**

**"You're not going to try to kill me, are you?" he says nervously as the door closes behind us. I bite my lip like I'm nervous.**

**"Well, about that," I say slowly, leading him by the hand toward the park. "That was, to mask my true feelings about you. But my therapist says-"**

**"Whoa, whoa, back up," he says quickly, pulling away. We stop, and he stares at me. I try to look sincere and kinda hurt. "Your true feelings for me? And those would be?"**

**I'd blush if it was physically possible, but I guess flushing with anger at myself for degrading myself like this is good enough. I look down, letting my hair fall into my eyes. "Do I have to spell it out for you? I love you, you stupid brat." Fulll-frontal lying. Except for the stupid brat part.**

**I glance up, and he looks like he's about to have a heart attack, so I suppose now's as good a time as any. "Will you go out with me?" I ask softly. Ra, I am a good actor.**

**And... Cue fainting. I decide to let him hit the ground.**


End file.
